Your Sobriety is Your Number One Priority
Before you get too far ahead of yourself worrying about your family and their motives, you have one very important task before that must be accomplished. You must not use drugs, today. Asking questions whose answers will only serve to get you back inside your head is a dangerous endeavor. There is time enough for that when you are more stable in your recovery to ask the tough questions and even confront those issues.
With Time Comes Clarity
After you have a little more time under your belt, you could discuss this with your sponsor. He or she will impart some things to you, which because you were in the throes of addiction, you couldn’t see. Some common reasons for family turning their backs on an addict who is finally in recovery can include:
- Repeated, yet unfulfilled promises to stop using
- Abuse – be it physical, emotional, verbal or sexual
- Exposing loved ones to danger
Something all of us addicts have in common is that when we are using, drugs become the most important thing above all else. Above honoring marriage vows, protecting family heirlooms, keeping promises, or caring how our abusive actions and words can destroy those we love, the desire to use is stronger than all of those things. Addiction is a family disease that doesn’t just affect the user. Whether or not our recollections are the same as those whom we harmed, wreckage caused by our using leaves prolonged impressions long after we get clean, admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
And This Too Shall Pass
Although we have this belief that the moment we become sober, the world should just open up to us, in reality loved ones, creditors, and others we harmed take a wait and see attitude. Expecting us to slip at the first sign of adversity, for those we harmed the fear of relapse is real. Part of addiction being a family disease is that it is very difficult for people you harmed to not personalize your addiction, and even your recovery. But you must remember that you didn’t get sober because you wanted their approval. You hit bottom and it was time to stop.
But something incredible happens to all of us and it will happen to you as well. Change is inevitable. Nobody can come back from the brink of hell, work as hard as we all do to maintain our sobriety for it to go unnoticed by all who see us. It may not happen in the timeframe you want, but it will happen.